Every day of my life I see it—a reminder of what I don’t have. They flood my Facebook newsfeed–pictures of family vacations, baby gender reveal parties, announcements of wedding anniversaries (complete with pictures of the day of the blessed event), declarations of undying love from one young adult to another.
At church, there are couples Bible studies, a heavy emphasis on children and youth, and with an ever-affectionate nod to singles. There are even two complete months dedicated to sermons about marriage and family. In a world where I often feel like an outsider, it’s hard to feel like an insider in a culture obsessed with love, romance, and finding “the one.”
I get it. Most people get married. A lot of them get divorced, too. Still, there’s a search for “the one”—this mystery person who completes the other’s soul as two become one fresh. I don’t understand the mystery of the gift of marriage. But when I’ve seen two become one in action, thought, and deed, it’s breathtaking sight to behold.
Some days I desperately want that—to be swept up strong arms, have a man to bring me flowers “just because,” mother a couple of children who have my eyes and his nose, plan and host a child’s birthday party with a creative theme, and go to school concerts to see my daughter play the oboe or my son sing a solo. Yet I am not a wife or a mother.
Other days, I can barely drag myself out of bed.
I am content with my sweet little Shih Tzu and enjoy the freedom the single life gives me to do as I please, serve where God calls me, and being an aunt-like figure to my friends’ kids.
The struggle to find meaning , contentment, and joy in singlehood is real…and it’s a difficult journey. Maybe it’s not about finding “the one” as much as it is about finding the One who makes my soul clean and my life whole.
As I wrestled with my feelings, I was struck by the chorus in Bebo Norman’s song, “Sing Over Me.” It says, “Sing over me/Sing over me/Sing above the noise I’ve been making.” Then I found Zephaniah 3:17, the verse on which this song is based, which reads, “The LORD your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”
This verse changed my life. Here I was chasing fleeting romantic expectations, which exist in Jane Austen novels and Hollywood movies (and sometimes real life), when I already had a Mighty Warrior who is strong enough to rescue me in His everlasting arms, who loves me forever and always, and even sings over me.
The loudest “I love you” echoed through the universe as Jesus, fully God and fully man, died a horrendous death on a rugged cross. For me. And you. The beauty of the story isn’t in His death, but in His resurrection—in His overcoming and His overwhelming, amazing loving.
My knight in shining armor is a Warrior God who fights for me, tenderly sings over me, and quiets me with His love, which death could not conquer. He even promises “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)
When I focus on the love God has for me, suddenly being single doesn’t seem like I’m sentenced to life as a lonely spinster, dog in my lap and crochet hook in my hand. It is an exciting adventure where every day is a chance to serve God and in serving Him finding true happiness, true meaning, and that thing for which I’ve searched most of my life—true love.
Every day of my life I see it—a reminder of God’s extravagant love for me. Every sunset screams, “I love you,” across the evening sky. Flowers grow in the most adverse places and encourage me as I walk difficult paths whispering, “This, too, is how I will grow You.”
If I’m really still, I sometimes think I hear it, my God singing love over me.
Do you hear it? How has God shown YOU his love?
Comment below and check out Amy’s personal blog, Backseat Writer.