I have some confessions about some of the things I pulled from my Facebook feed…
Just like Maddi Fieleke who wrote, “I’m Not a Liar but Facebook Sure Is” I wasn’t trying to be something I wasn’t when I posted on Facebook. But because you and I put up our very best moments on social media, it paints a picture about our lives that just isn’t true.
I’m not a liar, but Facebook can’t handle the truth.
We all want our Facebook experience to be drama-free and when it gets a little too emotional it’s understandable we scroll on.
I’m laid off.
There are certain things we can’t even fix with special lighting and Instagram effects. Raw human pain is hard to cope with. Sometimes we don ‘t put ourselves out there because we are sure some will point fingers.
He should have…
Why didn’t they…
But they are “Good Christians”…
Parenting and Silent Screams
Little ones are adorable. They drool and it’s annoying but somehow even that string of glistening slime is somehow cute.
There is grace. The older mom gives a knowing look to the mom who looks frazzled with wiggling toddlers handling the candy at the check out.
Little ones say funny, quotable phrases… perfect for Facebook. There are support groups with moms who are all just trying to figure out how to parent. Little chubby puffed cheeks and tiny stomping feet can make even a temper tantrum cute.
When the kids hit a certain age adorableness kind of evaporates… They become self-conscious of all those social media quotes and photos. They might be going through a gawky stage of all arms and legs. Braces on. Braces off.
They start having their own lives. They make choices. Good choices and bad choices.
At this stage there are no “cute” tantrums.
Misbehaviors are sometimes met with whispers and head shaking. There are few support groups for the same moms who all still just trying to figure out how to parent.
As Rachel Ann Ridge wrote in her blog “Dear Lonely Mom of Older Kids”:
So much of it….you just can’t talk about.
Because you suddenly realize that these kids are people.
People with feelings and emotions. And you can’t go around blogging about their mean math teacher or their failed attempt at choir auditions. These are things that are too precious, too priceless, too soul-baring, too hard to share. They need you to be their safe place. They need you to keep their secrets.
So that’s where I am. That season of hard, personal decisions. Being that safe place for my kids… Honoring their secrets.
Still looking for the support group for moms who can say, “I am caring for the people I love but it makes my stomach hurt and my heart race (and I can’t talk details about my kids for another decade.)”
Sometimes I post a joke. Sometimes I post verses. Sometimes I post the encouragement I need to read myself. I post a link to a worship song that is meaningful to me. I cope. To do otherwise would make the Facebook experience for all a depressing place indeed.
I’m Not a Liar, but Facebook Can’t Handle the Truth.
Feel free to assume someone in my family just had an epic melt down and my patient husband is dealing with all our drama, while there is laundry overflowing, dirty dishes, work piling up, and a few really messy situations unfolding. That my friends, is our reality! And I will assume that it might just be yours too!
How do you deal with honoring your children’s privacy and sharing your emotions? Do you think there is too much perfection portrayed on social media or do you think people are expressive to a fault? I’d love to know your thoughts!