“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matthew 28:19, 20
It was nearly three years ago we were at this same point.
Tan Paint. Out with the family photos and in with the generic, yet warm décor. Rearranging furniture and decluttering. Sweeping the kitchen floor… and sweeping the kitchen floor again. Perfecting lines in the yard and carpet. Every time we prepared for a home showing it was as if the final trumpet had sounded and we had 15 minutes to throw all the toys in the closet and dishes in the dishwasher before Jesus himself would meet us in the air.
Deep breaths. Anticipation.
We scored our dream home for an incredible price. A beautiful two-story gem that we picked up as a short sale. This was the type of home I always wanted. Beautiful trees, a flat yard, a basketball hoop. “Perfect for entertaining” as they say on HGTV… yet here we are again.
Waiting for change.
We had moved into our dream home from a little no-frills 1250 sq. ft. ranch. To be honest, it was not my favorite. We moved there under duress, really. We were in a jam with a small seminary apartment and our baby sleeping in a playpen in the bathroom. We had to move for our sanity. The house fit the bill for our needs.
Now looking back at those 1250 sq. ft. there was something special in that house… a required closeness.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” –Epicurus, Philosopher BC 341-270
Here it is easy to disappear.
“Can you come down?”
“I’m listening to my music!”
The space is vast to the point of stifling.
The quiet neighborhood is too quiet. Sterile.
Here we find ourselves again decluttering and checking the latest home listings.
Butterflies. I am eager.
It is a bit different this time. My husband is struggling with knee pain and we need to move for his health. The stairs are too much. We want a ranch home where we can all be together, even if it’s a bit forced.
I am longing for community. A place where there are people different from me… and some like me.
It has hit me recently that for the last 23 years I have been cushioned from the world. In many ways I have lived the most enviable life. I can talk about Jesus with anyone in my life and we all speak the same Christian language. I have also been challenged to grow in my faith by those who are further along in the journey.
I never have to encounter a non-Believer a day of my life except perhaps at Wal-Mart.
Comfort is killing me.
“I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced with what is comfortable.” David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream
The challenge for me now is patience. I want to bust out, to not give my all to my life now as it is. I would rather escape the tan paint and cleaning than obediently wait on the Lord.
Please pray for me as I wait.